Bridal spankings

06Sep10

Years ago, yours truly had a job as a transport dispatcher for a large wholesale outfit in the Home Counties. Because they did not pay well, all the drivers were women between 20 and 30, so over the years it happened that many interesting conversations were overheard.

One such conversation pertained to the forthcoming nuptials of one of the drivers. One day while the girls were preparing for a hen night, one of them asked where was the spanking taking place? Apparently, it was part of the local tradition that the prospective bride should get a spanking before her wedding. Not all the women had heard of this and the bride herself was not keen, no kidding, although she admitted that she had heard of the practice.

One of the girls piped up that on her hen night she had been ambushed at the back of the sports club that they agreed to meet at. She was bundled into a room at the back and her friends took turns to spank her.

“Did they take your knickers down?” One of them asked her.

“No but my cousin had hers taken down.” The first woman replied laughing.

That is about all that was overheard. However, it is worth pointing out that at the time the depot was near the boundary with another county. Half the girls were from one county and the others from another. This seemed to be reason for the differing customs.

This little snippet was brought to mind by a TV programme that included a mention of the custom among British and American forces of spanking the bride at a military wedding. Usually this is done by swatting her rear with the flat side of a sword as she passes the guard of honour.

A little bit of research among my files and online revealed some more on this.

Most hen spankings appear to be consensual fun. The web is full of such images, usually of one drunken girl spanking another. But the custom must have some cultural routes.

Twice at weddings, the groom was given a hairbrush by the bride’s father to keep her in line and on another occasion by the bride’s sister who was keen that it was really used. The last conversation was not for general consumption like the more jokey father-of-the-bride speeches. It was just overheard.

The tradition of spanking the bride by the father and then husband is also well known at Russian weddings. Polish girls are sometimes spanked at their engagement party, You Tube features some instances of this, although usually mislabelled 18th birthday spankings.

However it is clearly a tradition that has its routes in England and is still carried on in parts of modern America.

The following was taken from the web.

First of all my family, including myself, is really old-fashioned. We believe that the husband is the head of the household and a wife should submit and obey.

I’m about to get married and our family has this tradition, after I get my gown on before the ceremony my mom and dad will come in. My dad will have a hairbrush then I’ll lay across his lap, he’ll pull my dress up and spank me with the brush as a last sign of authority over me and my last spanking from him. And it’s not a light spanking either; mom says it’ll hurt.

Then after the ceremony but before the reception mom and dad will take me and my husband into a room then it’s my husband’s turn to take me over his lap, pull up my dress and spank me with the same hairbrush as a sign that he is in charge of me now and as my husband it is now his job and duty to discipline me when needed.

After my spanking, if my dad thinks my new husband has sufficiently spanked me and did a good job, my husband is officially given the brush which has been passed down and was used on my mom by dad on their wedding day, so my husband can use it on me in the future when I need it.

I’m kind of nervous but I’ll get through it. Mom said I’ll probably just have a sore bottom on our honeymoon. I just hope I don’t get out of line and do anything to get a spanking for a while after that, cause my fiancé spanks hard, and that hairbrush really hurts.

I’ll have to Love, Honour, and definitely Obey.

This is not the only such account.

Mary Collins, Shropshire, England, wrote:

Before I got married, my mother took me to one side and gave me a good talking to. Then she produced a hairbrush and took me over her knee. I had not been spanked for a few years, although she had spanked me once or twice when I was 19 or 20. I asked her what I had done and she said nothing. But she said it was the last time that she would ever spank me and it was important.

I had no idea what she was talking about, she just said her mother did the same thing. I was a bit embarrassed as she bared my bottom to spank me, a thing not done since I was in the Sixth Form. It really hurt. No, I mean it I howled. Then she just hugged me and said that she would always love me.

I felt very close to her afterwards, but thought the whole thing was a bit strange. Has anyone ever heard of this?

On crosschecking bridal spanking for Shropshire, there was one reference, now sadly deleted to ‘tupping the bride’. Apparently, this involved men not being present as the bride’s skirts were raised.

There was also an unsubstantiated reference to Thomas More, the sainted one. He is supposed to have lifted the bedclothes to reveal his two naked daughters to a prospective bridegroom and asked him to choose a wife.

“They both have tails ripe for a whipping as they shall soon find out ‘pon their nuptials.” He is reputed to have said.

This may be apocryphal, but it is another clear suggestion of bridal chastisement.

There are two more references in this vein.

The first is a reference to ‘chasing the maiden’. Apparently a bride-to-be was chased by her jealous unmarried friends and when caught was stripped and thrown to the ground and whipped with ‘apple switches’ on her bare bottom to make her fruitful. ‘Nor was this done in jest and a maiden could expect more than cats scratches upon her posteriors afterwards. Also it must be said, she was scarce likely to behold a pew come Sunday.’

Another was an alleged New England custom dating to the 17th century. Before her nuptials it was said that a maiden would be taken into the orchard (another pagan fertility connection perhaps) and made to bare her bottom and bend over a fence rail. Then she was whipped across the bare bottom with a rod or a switch.

This was done slowly and with force. The more strokes she could accept before ‘begging off’ was supposed to indicate how many years of happiness she would have when married.

A variant on this was the more strokes the more healthy children.

One imagines that among tough settler women there was fun and kudos to be had.

There you have it. Anyone know more?

Ends.



20 Responses to “Bridal spankings”

  1. I enjoyed reading your accounts of ‘bridal spankings, because I have always believed that the minute a bride says “I do”, at the altar, it should be the first duty of the bridegroom, to raise up his bride’s white wedding dress, take down her silk knickers, and spank her bare bottom blushing red. These of course should continue on their ‘wedding night’, for this tells the bride most painfully who is the master of the house.

  2. 2 Karl Friedrich Gauss

    Wow, what a lot of fine research on a subject that’s pregnant with meaning. On the one hand, there’s the symbolic passing of authority to the husband, while on the other there’s more of a fertility ritual quality about the females-only tradition. Thanks again for digging all this up and presenting it in such an appealing fashion. Oh, and lovely photo as well. Where’s that from?

  3. 3 B. Tickler

    I don’t think I care for the fact that people think it’s okay to treat a woman like this, like it’s a right or duty of a father or husband to beat his daughter or wife.

    I guess, it’s consensual and in fun, but harkens back to a time when women were treated more as property than as equal humans.

  4. 4 Karl Friedrich Gauss

    B Tickler, you have perhaps stumbled onto a site that’s all about the spanking subculture. However much I find that appealing, I do fully recognize that this stuff will never be for everyone and that where it happens today, there needs to be a free decision to engage in these sort of practices on the part of all parties. And yes, I think it’s a no-brainer to conclude that there’s some nostalgia in this for the social structures of times long gone. But I don’t think that in itself is either good or bad.

  5. 5 Giorgio

    I believe – 100% for me- that the best and happiest wife and mother is someone who goes from father’s (and mother’s) strict autority to her husband’s.

    Any such young Woman here about 30 yo?

    p.s I know I look for a miracle, nevertheless…

  6. 6 Sue Mary

    Among my Godfather’s possesions were several newspaper clippings datingfrom the 1950s and 60s. One referred to a court case in which the actress who played Janet in the then series of “Dr Finlay’s Casebook” was tried for assualt. Apparently it was alleged (and she was found guilty I believe) that she had coffee mornings for local women. One very young woman was getting married and the actress made her bare her bottom and spanked her with a wooden spoon as it was according to her “a tradition”.

  7. 7 Richard herndon

    Really like this tradition, if it had been followed I would not have to introduce adult spanking to my wife

  8. 8 markiee

    A wedding night bare bottomed spanking did occur on our wedding night and every night of our honeymoon, except I was the one over my wife’s knee.

  9. 9 Retired Professor

    Attitudes toward spanking girlfriends, fiancees, brides, and wives tend to parallel attitudes toward marriage. Where longevity is relationships is expected, spanking is more permissible and accepted. Conversely, disapproval of spanking tends to accompany acceptance of divorce.

    Regardless of attitudes toward divorces, one litmus test for marital health is how a couple deals with the situation where the wife obviously needs to be put over a man’s knee. Those able to deal with this inevitability are more likely to reconcile their differences than those in marriages where spanking is wholly unacceptable.

  10. I was spanked on my wedding night but that was because I had disgraced myself at the reception by having too much to drink. I thought it was ever so thrilling when my husband started to undress me, my first experience of sex just round the corner, but it was a terrible shock when I found myself getting a very close look at the carpet while my bottom grew hotter and hotter. Since then, spanking has been a part of our life, but only when I deserve it. My husband spanks very hard and always makes sure that I am howling by the time he has finished. I know there are those who frown on this sort of thing but in my case, I am sure it has gone a long way towards making ours a happy marriage (17 years so far)

  11. 11 Bob

    We raised three daughters and two sons. Our daughters were subject to spankings for misbehaving up until their marriage. We actually observed this tradition, each daughter was spanked by me, on the night before their wedding and each husband was given the strap used to do. Of our three daughters only one is now spanked by her husband for misbehavior but all three daughters are well behaved wives.

  12. 12 leslie. A.

    My family is fairly traditional. I am 27 and live near my parents in my own home. Because I am single if I deserved it I would likely get a spanking from my father and it would probably be done with the same leather strap that was used on me when I was a teen. If I were married my father would leave it to my husband to handle it. my older sister has been married for ten years and my parents leave it to her husband to handle her.

    My dad has not spanked me since I was 25. I had embarrassed my parents two weeks in a row by showing up late for church. I had been quietly warned by my dad after I was late the first time. I foolishly ignored his warning. The second time I was late he told me “go home and get ready”. I knew what he meant. He arrived at my house shortly after I got home. I handed him the strap that normally hangs inside my bedroom closet and bent over the dinning room table. He strapped my bare bottom hard and I cried but I took it obediently because I knew I deserved it and I knew that my father was doing what he knew was best for me. It was very humiliating and painful but that’s probably why I haven’t been late for church since then. I don’t act like a child now so he doesn’t treat me like one.

    My parents are old fashioned in some ways but they are fairly liberal. We did not have too many rules when we were growing up and as long as we behaved reasonably we were not punished. I was not spanked often (a few times a year) but when I was spanked they made sure that I did not like it. I would end up having to stand up at the dinner table that night.

    I would not marry a man that was not confidant enough and caring enough to discipline me whenever he felt it was needed. I find it embarrassing to be in a social setting and listen to a wife belittle her husband in public. It’s a shame that those men don’t have the sense to politely excuse them for the evening ,and blister her bottom when he gets her home. Those women would soon stop acting like bratty teenagers.

  13. 14 Bob

    I wouldn’t let one of our daughters walk down the aisle without a very well marked behind. This served as a reminder of her need to be obedient to her husband both for her and for her husband, who will rule over her, in place of her father. This is what the bridal spankings are all about. Also the strap used to spank the new bride becomes a gift to her husband who will use it when needed.

    • 15 George

      Finally a man with common sense and wisdom.
      I wish you a very happy Christmas and an excellent 2014!
      ps. don’t know their age but until marriage day imho is the only way…

    • 16 George

      dear Mr. Bob
      May I ask you (privately) if all your daughters have already lived such wise tradition and how old were they.
      I bet you wnated to be sure that your excellent upbringing was appreciated by husbands ready to go on with their own responsibilities.
      Thanks
      G.

  14. 17 Tony Conrad

    I could never see this happening at my wedding with all the guests we had.

    It turned out that she gets nothing out of being spanked and it is not my job to discipline her.

    However she is comfortable about doing it to me which really switches me on.

  15. 18 Debbie Runnels

    I’m divorced, but the next man I marry – if I marry again – had better be confident enough in himself to spank me soundly over his knee before we make love that first night.


  1. 1 Nuptial Spanking Customs - Spanking Blog

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 355 other followers

%d bloggers like this: