The Art of  Telling Off The One You Love is, gentlemen, (or ladies if you so inclined) is one of the most important an often underused skills you can have.
You can turn any situation with the girl you sort out on a sixpence. You can turn what would have been a two hour argument into a delightful and satisfying sexual encounter. Most importantly you can make the girl you care about from a tense and stressed unhappy thing into the kind of girl that slips her hand into yours and asks for a cuddle, maybe seeking another part of you with her lips shortly after that.

It is not fashionable, telling someone off. It is not democratic or egalitarian. It is not the kind of things many adults do to one another. It is a skill and a mindset that you may have to learn.

Learn it. Once you do things will get better.

The first thing you have to remember is to relax. She wants you to do this (she also really, really doesn’t) and she has given you the authority over her to behave in this out dated and high handed manner. She looks up to you she trusts you. She thinks you can do this. She knows you pretty well, so believe in her like she believes in you. Forget that you are not perfect, forget that you forgot lat week where your car keys where and had to ring her at work or that you swore when you should have been calm when the mower broke. The deal with her is not that you are perfect, the deal is that you use your authority over her.

The second thing you have to remember is to relax. I want you to imagine that you are sitting at a desk, a large one of dark wood with a green leather inlay. Your chair is a comfortable one, it is large, upright and immensely relaxing to sit in. The girl in question is standing in front of you, the other side of the desk. Note: she stands, you sit. She is awkward with her hans and feet, not knowing quite where to put them; you are leaning back in your chair and entirely at ease. Your relaxed demeanour suggests that you could do this for hours and that you know you are completely right. This is why you will not shout, you will not get in her space with your head or your body, you will not speak using words that are coarse or cruel. You stay relaxed, she does not.

The third thing you have to do is relax, take your time. This is not a two minute activity, well it can be, when you are on the go and you are good at this you can do a mini scolding in a line but that is a hold over activity and will only work because she knows what is coming later. She has to associate that short line with something that makes her wish she had just been a better girl. You will tell her off and make her wish you would stop now. Learn to enjoy it, see it as part of your birthright, your skill and your gift to the woman you love. If you stop too soon, all your progress is lost.

Finally, when you can and that moment might be right away, back it up. You might take her knickers down (that can be useful during the telling off to reduce her feeling of being a grown up) but for goodness sake leave them down if it is night time and you can’t spank her for some reason. You might put her in the corner or some other embarrassing position. The best of course is if you can spank her and this is where an excellent telling off really works.

You see in films and sometimes books, a spanking can make an angry headstrong woman into a compliant sobbing mess. That is lovely- also normally complete tosh. It is not the act of spanking that rewrites a woman, it is who does it and how he does it. If you have a self righteous and angry, or a bratty and naughty woman in front of you and you can lat the groundwork of an excellent telling off before you do so much as one spank then you can spank longer, harder and with ten times the mental impact. Your spanking is the brawn to the telling off brain. Your spanking will be welcomed, even though it scares her and she does not want you to do it. She will need it to b a thorough , detailed spanking that only you can give her because you are the man she trusts. You are the man she needs to take her home. You are the man that can make everything right in the whole world.

That is who you are. Remember that and act like it.