Sometime back it was explained to me by a sexual-psychologist that there is virtually no such thing as Gay or straight and that everyone is on the spectrum. Hackles will rise at this suggestion, I know, but people are masters of self-deception and I wonder if there isn’t something in this.

I know that almost every girl I ever got intimate enough for the confessional admitted, to a greater or lesser extent, that they had either had a sexual experience or had fantasised about experiences with other women.

One scale that can be used, according to the aforesaid psychologist, runs minus five to plus five, where zero is a true bisexual. Five is a supposed total heterosexual and minus five a total homosexual.

The average, I was told is about 2.7, which is pretty solidly heterosexual with a bit of bi-curiosity thrown in. How much people act on or explore the homosexual part of their character is largely down to the culture they live in.

This figure of 2.7 (one wonders how it was arrived at) represents the top of the bell curve with just as many people scoring above as below. Between one in five and one in 10 is the typical proportion of people in the UK who identify with being Gay, more than actually claim to be bi-sexual, but boundaries are blurred, aren’t they?

In practice I think people pick a preference and ignore the inconvenient ‘thoughts’ that don’t fit.

I got to wondering about how many people secretly have spanking fantasies but don’t explore them. If we apply the same scale where minus five are people with zero interest and five as total spankos, then where do you stand? What about your boss or your local preacher?

Psychological studies have found that between one in four and one in three have spanking or BDSM-related fantasies, or so it is claimed. Even if taken at face value that means that the spanking scale has more spankos than homosexuals.

Of course one thing is not related to the other; think Venn diagram. It certainly isn’t a competition.

No Psychobabble article such as this would be complete without some ‘case studies.’

Here are some anecdotes about real apparently vanilla people who have revealed to me or someone else some spanking fantasies at some point.

A secretary at a school where I once worked was mildly reprimanded where some of us were having lunch. It wasn’t more than an intoned few words directed at her, no one heard what was said. But she blurted, “God, I wonder what it would be like to go across his knee for a good sound spanking.” She blushed for England once she realised what she had just said aloud.

To a girl friend of mine another 19-year-old girl in college complained that her mother sometimes whipped her bare bottom with a small riding crop when she mouthed off. She complained that it “really hurt and leaves these god awful purple welts on my bum. Sometimes I can’t sit down comfortably for days.” She added, perhaps again without thinking, “It wouldn’t be so bad if my step-dad did it.”

Another twenty-something co-worker lived with her elder half-sister and had had a row with her that morning. She admitted that she had been to blame and had been out partying and had woken the baby one her three am return. “I hate when she goes on about things, particularly when I am defo wrong,” she said gloomily, “Pity I am too old for a spanking.”

She looked up at this point and shrugged. “Yeah well it used it happen and at least I knew where I stood: Kinda of fun sometimes.” Then she added apropos nothing, “More fun if I could spank her sometimes.”

A more blatant conversation was overheard on a train to Brighton in 1980.

Two girls in their early 20s were chatting in the seat in front of me in an otherwise empty carriage. Then one of them said, “It was totally my fault, I was being such a bitch. He said ‘what you need is to have your knickers taken down and having your bare bottom spanked red.’ I totally didn’t take the hint and carried on being a bitch. Next thing I am over his lap with my knickers down getting a spanking.”

“He never,” said her shocked friend.

“No sadly, I made the last bit up. His dad came back and I was saved by the bell.”

Another time I was in a shared house. I was sitting out of sight reading in a big sofa with my back to two girls chatting. Then forgetting I was there they were talking and the conversation got around to sexual fantasies. One of them said her boyfriend liked maid’s outfits. The other was suddenly gripped with enthusiasm and broke into a monologue.

“That would only work for me if I really had to do some house work, you know as a punishment or something. You know, down on my knee with a little outfit and no knickers so that he could see my bare bum as I dusted the skirting board. My bum would be all red from the spanking he had given me and I know he would spank me again if I didn’t clean properly.”

It suddenly went quiet and the indiscreet girl said lamely, “Something like that anyway.”

Her friend just said, “I will make some coffee.”