The Secret Sisterhood of Female Mentorship and Spanking


otk tumblr_nddslroxT11tjzgtro1_500 There are hundreds of so-called spanking mentors out there. Usually they are pitched as ‘experienced men’ who have helped dozens of women etc… In a small way I have played this game too in the past, but let’s be honest, my position is a prurient one and so are most of the other so-called mentors out there.

However this does not negate a very real desire for women of all ages who need to be brought down a peg or two and be given some boundaries. Sex is usually bound up in all of this but it is not the whole story.

When I first started this blog I had short exchange of brief emails from a woman pointing out that one of the reality pictures I had used was her. She had no problem with this, but asked if I had the version with the face that I not use it. I didn’t and I wouldn’t I told her.

She told me she loved the blog, particularly the mix of factual discipline and erotic stories. In passing she mentioned that she liked the harsh spankings in stories, but not in fun with her boyfriend. Those she had to endure with her mentor.

I was intrigued but she didn’t expand other than to say that she had some problems when she was in college and now used an older woman services to mentor her, which sometime involved spankings.

There are several such women searching for this kind of thing on forums like Sometimes a Girl and Spankseek.

One female American Attorney at Law started her own blog because she was told by her mentor to take on a girl of her own to help in something called the Sisterhood of Female Mentorship and Discipline.

She claimed to be a woman who had come to her success after 20 years of disciplinary mentoring in which she was frequently spanked to keep her focussed.

The intro blurb ran: For eons the focus for achievement has been handed down woman-to-woman through consistent discipline. This is an unspoken, almost “secret”, society. Our numbers are legion. This blog is for those who seek that discipline for such focus and a lifetime of sisterhood and achievement.

This now defunct blog could have been a hoax of course, but the tone and brevity of her posts were interesting and she stopped publishing after only a few weeks after finding the mentee she was looking for. That she had been ordered to recruit.

Here are few excerpts:

The first question I am always asked by women considering me as a mentor is “are you being spanked regularly too?” The answer: Of Course I am spanked and guided at least once a week by my mentor, a beautiful success of a woman now well into her 60’s. She has literally made my life for me and I adore her for that. I will continue being mentored even as I mentor others. That is how the tradition is passed from generation-to-generation.

Then later:

I am just back from my weekly session with my Mentor. Although my bottom still stings and shall for the next day, it is amazing the clarity and focus I have. Even after all these years I am still surprised how effective this is for me. Of course, I always learn something on the lap of my Mentor every week. She is amazing!

Two of the comments to this post were:

Lisa, I really appreciated the telephone chat last night. I am really looking forward to meeting next week to discuss mentoring.

Thanks for having coffee with me last night. You truly know how this 29 year old woman is feeling inside. I want so much to get somewhere in life, but I cannot focus long enough to get there. That you were once in that position and found yourself and your focus through mentoring and discipline inspires me that I can get there too! Thank you for agreeing to an initial mentoring session on Sunday. I am sooooo excited!

There were several other comments from people who apparently spoke on the phone or actually met Lisa.

Here is a testimonial from another blog that gives an expanded insight.

It has helped me release the guilty feelings I has concerning my mother who passed away in 2006.  I had a lot of feelings like wishing I had treated her better and things I wish I hadn’t done and could no longer tell her I was sorry for.  The spanking I received helped release this guilt and afterwards I didn’t feel so stressed out and was no longer putting myself down for not treating her better and for other things I know she would have forgiven me for if she could.

I also have the habit of just letting things go and procrastinating.  My house and my car was a mess.  I never took care of it.  I never spent much time there.  My home became a place I was running from instead of my sanctuary.  I was still putting it off until I received my second harder spanking.  I was overwhelmed and didn’t know where to start with suggestions from Pam and a very sore bottom to help keep me on task I was able to get my home to a state where I was happy to have people over.  It is also easier to maintain.  In addition to procrastinating about cleaning up the house I was always putting my school work off and staying up really late to get it done the night before it was due.  For the most part I am keeping this under control I know what will happen if I don’t.

I have noticed that since starting Discipline Therapy I have not had the aches and pain in my back and neck that were probably caused by stress and maybe even a little depression.  I don’t get as many sleepless nights any more except for the day before I am going to be spanked for not holding up my end of our agreement.

I have always known why I was going to be spanked and even agreed that the spanking should be hard when certain goals are not met.  It helps me stay on task. Pam is also very caring and is a great comfort during and after a spanking is administered.  She has also taken the time to help me find ways to better my life and make things easier.  And once the spanking is over there are no hard feelings and I don’t feel bad about myself or feel like I am a failure because friendly relations are maintained once the spanking is over.  I have a more peaceful feeling towards myself and I am glad to be a part of this Discipline Therapy and would recommend it to anyone who wants to be held accountable for their actions and better their own life.

This is from another:

I grew up without boundaries or discipline. When I went to college my head was a mess, but I soon learned that some of the other girls were spanked and had had stricter upbringings and these were the women who were the most focussed and later the most successful.

After college I became a paralegal and one day got talking to my professional mentor, a woman of 60 and over a drink or three told her about my interest and problems.

She wasn’t surprised or fazed by any of this and recommended that I take my time and look for a mentor online who might help.

It took months of looking and I met several women and a few men all of whom were very nice. But most of them talked about safe words or were clearly sexually motivated and I didn’t want that. Then finally I met Claire a woman 17 years my senior and soon to be a grandmother.

She said if I was serious then she would pass on some of her experience and talk about boundaries and consequences. We met once a week and talked over several weeks about how to sort my life out. It was a great help and just having someone with a no nonsense attitude helped me greatly.

Then in one month I got a parking ticket, a disciplinary warning from my office for being consistently late, and then a speeding ticket.

Out of the blue, well nearly, my mentor told me that she was going to give me the spanking I had been needing and that I would feel it for a week.

I had to take my own pants and panties off and go stand in the corner for about a year to think about what I had done and what I had coming. It was a hard thing to do at 27 and I was quaking like a kid when she called me over to go over her lap.

There was no messing and using a hairbrush she spanked me until I was bawling and begging. In between bouts of spanking I got a good talking to and after a quick hug when it was finally over I had to stand back in the corner again.

I had real trouble sitting at work for a few days and every time I sat down in my car I thought about what I had done.

This has happened every few weeks for the last four years and I am definitely focussed.

In the early days my professional mentor and trainer asked if I had found someone and I told her yes. She said it showed, but she wouldn’t discuss it at work saying it was a private thing.

12 Responses to “The Secret Sisterhood of Female Mentorship and Spanking”

  1. I wonder if there really is such a secret sisterhood of spanking mentors.

  2. 2 DJ

    I have no idea – I think the suggestion was that there is an informal network of such women and this kind of mentor spanking is more common than one thinks.

    Given the diversity of sources I suspect there is something in it.

    I thought it was a good find but this didn’t garner much interest it seems.

  3. 3 Svetlana

    Given the popularity of “Sinclair Method”, I bet that this post garners a lot of interest among your readers. It’s just that now and then some of us manage to spend a weekend without listening to voices in the corner. 🙂

    I’m in a hurry now, but what I like most about this is the positive spin that it puts on discipline. “Focus on achievement”, “sisterhood” … it’s the language of female empowerment and it shows that discipline and girl power mix rather well when you do it right.

    Anyway, if it’s not true then it should be. 🙂

  4. 4 Karl Friedrich Gauss

    I feel with this post you are touching on what maybe has always been the primary purpose and meaning of spanking within the human domain, and that all this “sex and spanking” stuff is more of an epiphenomenon, so to speak.

    Like anyone who’s read widely in the literature of spanking, I’ve seen dozens of references to this theme over the years. But I’ve tended to write them off as just another fantasy scenario.

    But after reading this post I’m wondering just how wrong I may have been. Which of course raises the further question of just what the deep-down modus operandum is, of spanking used in such a mentorship context. I’m not expecting an answer anytime soon.

    But in closing I would like to commend you and Indigo on publishing one of the few spanking blogs that continues to hold my interest after all these years.

    • 5 DJ

      Thank you Karl, lovely words and support.

      We are all sexual beings and I do not think sex and other needs are so readily separated.

      I am convinced the sex is not always the main driver in these cases, and I have heard and read about too many such relationships to doubt the generality. One can always doubt the particular case incidentally. But I am sure it us usually in the mix somewhere.

      I knew a girl who had a total crush on her boss and was ridiculously submissive to him. There was no overt sex (or even covert) but it was in the mix even if she had other desires to please him.

  5. 6 Lily B

    I chanced on this blog from google – search terms ‘mentor’ and ‘spanking’.

    For many years I had a spanking mentor. It is long story, too long for here, but briefly I was 21 and got into minor criminal trouble. An older woman friend helped and advised me.

    I was not very grateful at the time and a little too full of myself and ready to deflect the blame. In response my friend Julie was calm, but scolded me to tears. Then she produced a cane.

    It is hard to explain, but I found myself reluctantly and obediently removing my skirt and knickers and bending over for about a dozen biting strokes on my bare bottom.

    I was confused afterwards and I still don’t know why I submitted, but I did. This started a nine year relationship where I was lucky if I was only spanked, and caned if I wasn’t.

    This was more than 20 years ago and my experience still shapes and fascinates me. I know I was not alone then or now.

    Thank you for this validating little article.

    • 7 DJ

      Thank you and welcome Lily.

      Who knows why we do what we do. Sometimes the time, place and person are right. If it worked out and you have no regrets then go you. 🙂 I hope you need no validation from me.

      I would be interested to know more. Especially about your nine year relationship.

      Thanks again.

    • I hope I’m not overstepping my bounds here and DJ feel free to delete my comment if so.
      I would be delighted in inviting Lilly B to explain in more depth of her experiences and feelings on my forum Sometimes A Girl Needs A Spanking

  6. 9 Lily B

    Mr OHM,

    thanks for the link – I may lurk there – my experiences of that kind of forum have not been good. But thank you – who knows?

    Mr Black – I love this blog sir, I have been lost for days in the archives. You used to write more F/F stories I noticed – your insights as a man in this area are often close to the mark. I look forward to reading more.

    As for my experience – again a lot to say and hard to say it here. But that first caning was a wake up call and I was confused and sulking for about a week until Julie came around to shake me out of what I can only describe as a pit of wallowing.

    She told me if I didn’t get up and clean up she would spank me. I think I wanted to see what would happen so I swore at her and refused.

    Suffice to say I was literally tipped out of bed and spanked on my bare bottom, which was an embarrassing and juvenile experience, but I took it in the same confused spirit as before. I was run naked into the shower and scrubbed down and then half naked made to clean up. Julie said if gave her attitude or didn’t sort myself out she would get her cane.

    Despite this unwelcome rough handling my attitude improved and my troubles either diminished or I felt they did. I was a much humbler girl when I apologised to Julie and asked her more advice.

    I thought then that the caning and spanking was a kind of aberration because of the extreme situation. I had to go to court and Julie helped with a character assessment and she got me a lawyer friend who I couldn’t possibly have afforded myself.

    It was only after the second spanking following a panic attack the night before we went to court that I realised that this was going to be part of our friendship.

    I hope this helps explain how it all started.

    Lily x

    • 10 DJ

      Hi Lily,

      Thank you so much for the follow up post – sounds like you got what you needed in the end (if you pardon the pun).

      When and if your comfortable do tell us more.

      All the best DJ

  7. 11 Zoe

    I would love to find a female mentor (even at 48).

    I don’t know about secret cults (lovely idea by the way) but 20 years or so ago I knew a girl, just a little younger than me who saw ‘a life coach’ or so she said. Later over drinks I found out that she was regularly spanked by this woman. I really wish I could have found out more. 😦

    I have heard loads of hints over the years but hardly ever seem able to get in on it. My spanking radar is pretty well developed and my obsession has been with me since 17 or 18 when I first witnessed and then received a couple of spankings from the hands of my best friend Karen’s older sister and guardian.

    The first time was during the sixth form when I was at her house. She gave Stephanie (her sister) some attitude and got it there an then. I was sent home first but I hung around just long enough to witness the start of the proceedings.

    The next time Karen was told that she had been warned and i saw the whole thing. Her jeans and knickers were taken down while Stephanie went mental on her backside. Karen was mortified at being spanked in front of me, but I was buzzing.

    The third time we were caught smoking in Karen’s room. I got watch another spanking at some length and Karen got a very red bottom and then made to face the wall. I think I was grinning like an ape until Stephanie said ‘your turn.’

    Like Lily I was in a daze and just found myself knickers down across her lap. I yelled my head off and eventually cried. But standing next to Karen facing the wall I felt sort of cleansed and very close to them both. It is hard to explain.

    Later still we were spanked together again after getting into a fight over a boy that ended in some breakage in Stephanie’s front room.

    My formative experience was much later when I was almost 20 and in college. That time it was just me Stephanie spanked. Quite a long intense afternoon that forged a deep need in me.

    So thanks Lily for sharing.

    Zoe x

    • 12 DJ

      Thanks Zoe,

      great insight into this – sorry you never found a mentor, but sounds like Stephanie was a mentor of sorts.

      What happened during that ‘intense afternoon.’

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