Mrs Black isn’t very well at the moment, but she insists on soldiering on. This is how brave she is.

Indigo is brave about a lot of things, most things really. In fact there are so far only three things I have found that she is afraid of. I will come to those in a moment.

We recently had to go away and it was Indigo who made all the arrangements. She has a knack for it. Sometimes she is like a teenager when it comes to phone surfing, she will sit for hours not talking with her nose in her phone texting her friends and looking at the most curious websites.

Her latest obsession is Donald Trump. If you aren’t familiar with him all I know is that he is a rich kid who hosts a successful TV show in the US. I saw it once but got distracted by what he had on his head. Indigo thinks that makes me shallow, ‘who cares about his hair dressing, look what he is doing,’ she said. I didn’t think he was doing anything, I mean he is rich isn’t he?

Indigo told me he isn’t a billionaire apparently, but only has a few hundred million. After the first 20 or 30 million does it matter, doesn’t everyone lie about money and sex?

But apparently he could have made more money just leaving his money in the bank, according to Mrs Black that is. Where does she get this stuff, so what if he isn’t a great businessman, at least he is a trier? Didn’t he go bankrupt twice and made it all back?

Indigo is not convinced. She was telling me about financial parking, fiscal transfers, third party holdings and tax efficient ‘paper bankruptcy.’ I have no idea about most of this stuff, but Indigo gets it all off that little phone of hers: amazing.

He must buy some clever people; perhaps he can send some over and sort my tax affairs?

I am beginning to wonder if Indigo might not like this man, just because he wants to build a wall or something and get this… sort out terrorists in the Middle East. Why not? Sounds like a good idea to me. If the President, the PM, the combined nations of NATO, Her Majesty’s’ General Staff and the Pentagon haven’t thought of that already then surely it is time someone sorted it out.

Apparently he wants to be President, a noble ambition I would have thought. But this is one of the things that makes Indigo scared. Maybe it is his syrup.

Another thing that Indigo doesn’t like and makes her nervous is getting a spanking. But I wouldn’t go as far to say that she is afraid of them. Not like spiders. One spider in the bath and I have to become Arnie, Bruce Willis and Jason Statham all rolled into one. I used to hate them myself but I had to give it up for obvious reasons.

But what makes Mrs Black really afraid, more than spiders and Donald Trump even… is the cane. I semi-retired the dragon cane because she was so on edge about it. I am such a softie. But even the normal bitey, swishy cane in the wardrobe makes her positively gulp.

I don’t use it often, not unless she is a very bad girl, but a reference to it when I get some attitude about corner time, another thing she hates, and she is suddenly very cooperative. Maybe I should get another cane as back-up. I wonder what I should call it… the spider maybe.