A Strange but Seasonal Birthday Ritual


otk preacher spankIt was an odd kind of conversation. Some yahoo said he would take a bullet for Jesus. Why is it always guns and why would anyone need to? Then of course everyone chipped in until the one perky 22-year-old young woman said something about birthday spankings. Go figure. Where did that come from?

“So you are saying that you would take a birthday spanking for the great man?” the yahoo said.

The woman, a dizzy blonde called Mary Beth, perhaps hadn’t meant to say anything aloud or perhaps she was thinking about something else, was now on the spot.

“I didn’t mean that,” she says hastily.

“So you saying that you won’t?” the yahoo accuses her.

“No I am not saying that but…” the girl splutters.

Now it might have all ended well but for two things. One it was Christmas and two the preacher was standing nearby.

“This is an outrageous conversation,” he bellows.

At this point the yahoo makes himself scarce but there are enough folks around to chuckle at the girl’s discomfort.

“But I… I didn’t start it,” the girl whines.

“No but you should know better Mary Beth,” the preacher snarls.

“To cap it all you tell such lies,” the preacher rages.

“No I didn’t I…” Mary Beth is all a fluster now and wishes the ground would open up wide.

“Well since it is our Lord’s birthday we will put that to the test shall we?” the preacher growls, now somewhat placated.

“B-but, but I…” Mary Beth gasps.

“It wouldn’t be the first time now would it,” the preacher mutters.

“No Sir,” Mary Beth says ruefully.

Unfortunately for Mary Beth she is only wearing those thong panties she got online and she just knows the preacher will take up her skirts, which as he takes her over his knee he does. Mary Beth’s predicament draws angry gasps and laughter in equal measure. But now the preacher is certain he has the right of it.

“Can someone tell me the year?” the preacher says sharply.

“Why it’s…” begins someone until truth dawns and a groin breaks out on his face, “2014 parson.”

“Sir, come one now Sir, you can’t…” Mary Beth wails, but it is way too late for that as the first spank lands.

“Yeow,” Mary Beth squeaks.

“One,” says the small crowd.

Mary Beth still wasn’t sitting down at New Year’s and for quite some time afterwards. But she did learn to watch her mouth and not to disrespect the Lord.

2 Responses to “A Strange but Seasonal Birthday Ritual”

  1. 1 Richard

    And only 2014 good thing she was not jewish I think there over three thousand years ahead of us christians she might not have endured that many or the preacher either

  2. 2 DJ

    One hopes that the pastor relents – but then again…

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