Domestic goddess in service to her lord


naked in the kicthenThis was snatched from a profile on Collarme:

I am a domestic goddess seeking to be tamed by a worthy man. I am no easy catch and will not surrender easily. In time I will make your favourite foods, scrub your floors naked and serve you in ways few men can hope. But until then I will need many sound spankings, hours of corner time and when I still don’t surrender out will come whips and chains.

We could debate for hours on the reality of such a relationship or the scene versus life style choice. But I think there is another issue at the heart of this plea. Certain women want to surrender, indeed need to surrender. But for whatever reason they do not yield easily.

Many of the men reading this blog will be thinking, ‘I’d soon make her submit’ or some such folly. But a woman who seems to give in too easily is only playing. True submission is an elusive prize and takes work.

At its heart lies the question: are you stronger than her?

It takes a huge force of will and a great deal of self-knowledge to be a submissive, which is why many women come to it comparatively late in life. Men often blunder into it, either snatching spanking games here and there or not fully appreciating how rare a good Dom/sub match is.

A good Dom needs to be strong but he doesn’t have to be stronger than her, he just needs to know if he is or isn’t. What do I mean?

Well if you will pardon the comparison for a moment ladies. A man is usually stronger than a dog and can rely on one set of skills to call upon to train one. But a man can also train titans like elephants say, but he will come to a sticky end very quickly he if he does not grasp the disparity in strength.

Women are not weak and they are not so easily trained. They may not even want to be trained at all and may merely want to dance with submission now and again. In this relationship you have a 50-50 chance of being the emotionally stronger.

I say this to both men and women. I think we both sometimes fall into the trap of both thinking the other partner wiser in all this.

How many women just assume the man is stronger and rage against him believing he will not break? I know you want him to be. I know you want him to win without letting him, but does he know who is stronger? Do you?

The woman above wants to be on her knees with a sore bottom, but one senses in her plea that she has tried and failed at this. But surrender is in the mind and soul, so how can you surrender them if you do not know them. More still, how can you claim them?

3 Responses to “Domestic goddess in service to her lord”

  1. This might be one of my favorite posts. I think it takes an incredibly strong woman to surrender and submission is not weakness but courage and strength. It is also a gift given but not easily and I think so many of us want to give it but so few can earn it. I wonder if at a certain point after that earning of it, it becomes a constant thing.

    I saw something the other day and I can’t remember exactly but it spoke about a couple and how at any given point, one will be strong than the other or one will need more than the other. In fiction, dominant men remain always the dominant man but in real life, it can’t truly be the case 24/7 365 days a year. This is a discussion I can have forever I think but you’ve said it so well here and I promise not to turn my comment into a blog post all its own!

  2. This is so true, and well said, DJ. There’s fantasy, and then there’s real life. D/s can be lovely in both, but dominant men have their own needs as well. Loved this!

  3. 3 JP

    I agree with this completely. It’s really not about being “trained” until one is perfectly submissive 24/7, it’s about knowing your partner and what he or she needs in that instance, then doing what you can to give that. There are times when I absolutely need to rage, to fight as hard as I can against a wall that I know won’t topple. There are also days when my husband can’t be that wall, but I get to build him back up through my submission, adoration and love.

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