Land Lording It


spanked by the landladyOne Hand from Sometimes A Girl asked after any true accounts. It is a popular request and many snippets that have appeared here before certainly have purported to be true. With both on and off topic web forum’s abounding there are many such stories out there, although we have to assume that a fair proportion of them are fantasies. But as the man said, why let the truth get in the way of a good story? You are all grown-ups and when these stories do emerge you are well able to decide for yourself as to the likely voracity of such tales.

On that note here is one that originated as a corrupt file on my old 850 that was auto saved (or partially) to my back-up. I ignored it for some time because it was incomplete and in a mess. However, prompted by OHM’s request I did some delving and found one or two interesting little clips for possible future publication. But they are mostly corrupted with garbage after each paragraph.

This one was next to useless until I searched for some key words and found a more complete version. The original came from a gopher site that had I remember now was a sort of forerunner to forums like One Hand’s and the Experience Project. I used trawl this and others like it and save interesting items to a zip drive. I think most of these will be lost as the few I resaved are largely corrupt, but some cane be extracted maybe.

Coincidentally Sometimes a Girl is running some tales on its forum that echo this theme.

Again not sure what the motive for sharing this story was, but here is an edited slightly cleaned-up version of the tale.

Margaret (surname withheld in case it’s real) had this to share.

My experience of house-sharing both during my time at college in Manchester and after had been a grim one. Maybe that explains my attitude to what happened when I moved to London. I still don’t have it clear in my head. Maybe it is also sexual! I kind-of think so – ugh – that’s too messy to think about, which is why it might be true… oh I don’t know. I was sick of sticking messy flats with fridges that had stuff living in them and on one occasion rats!

(There was a lot of this side chat which was mostly culled for the final edit.)

I answered an advert for a house in Hackney to share with the landlady and one other. The one other turned out to be a mysterious City PA called Kate who I did not meet for six weeks. What her story was and how she dealt with Jane (the landlady) I don’t know for she moved out after a few months and I only met her all of four or five times.

I was 23 at the time and Jane (ever cagey about her age) was around 33 maybe. She came across as a hippy type, but she was a bit cold I thought and seemed to have about a million rules.

But the house was clean, smartish and had a reasonable sized garden. It was an end terrace up a quiet street and the rent for digs 5 minutes from a railway station was unbelievably cheap.

(There was a lot of incoherent detail about flowers and her room which has been omitted since it needed too much editing.)

The only fly in the ointment was that I was a smoker in those days and Jane had a strictly no smoking rule. Not even in the garden.

She caught me smoking on the back steps during my second week and went mental.

I got the lecturer about smoking, then one about lying and generally bollocked. Then she said something like, “I should smack your bottom, really I should.”

I got a strange feeling when she said that and I became all flushed and flustered. But she only laughed.

“Have you ever been spanked before?” she asked.

I was really embarrassed for some reason.

Jane let it go, but a few weeks later we had a few rows. Mostly about the mess, which she was totally right about. While she had been on holiday, I had carried on smoking in the garden, but she found a single butt that I had missed. Then I left the bath running. It overflowed and we had really bad flood.

I knew she wanted me to leave, or I thought she did. I don’t know for sure. I was still wrapped in my towel when she came up to see me.

“You want me to go don’t you?” I said.

Jane laughed and said I looked so cute like a naughty puppy. I said that I was sorry and offered to pay for the damage.

Then she just said, “I really ought to just spank your bottom.”

I was all shy and tongue-tied. I might have replied “Oh you wouldn’t would you?”

Jane had this odd way of talking like a hippy from a book. She said cool and man a lot, but like it was put on. Then she came back with, “Shall I? I don’t know if I shall. What do you think? Don’t you deserve a soundly smacked bottom?”

I pathetically said, “Oh please don’t.”

She went away and came back with a shoe. It was canvas with a rubber sole and I remember it was mauve with yellow spots.

She was frowning and started to tell me off and then she said “Come on, over my knee, it is smack bottom time.”

“What?” I said. There was a dizzying surge of blood to my face.

The next thing I was over her lap as she sat on the laundry basket in the bathroom while she whacked away at my bottom. All I could think at first was that my towel had slipped and my bottom was bare then I felt the sting.

At first I tried to laugh it off, but her telling me off was too authentic and the spanking really hurt. Soon I was kicking a yelling as she put me in my place.

The spanking didn’t last long and after I sat on the floor with a throbbing backside and trying not to cry. I was totally confused and didn’t know what to say.

Then she said, “You deserved that didn’t you?”

“I suppose,” I found myself saying.

She laughed and went to clean up my mess, which I should have helped with but I was too embarrassed and off balance. So I hid in my room and looked at my bottom in the mirror. She had really gone for it and I had bruises and red marks that lasted days.

It did clear the air between us and our relationship became something between aunt and big sister. She didn’t mention the spanking again and I noticed that I was less messy and the house was more relaxed.

One day I left some milk in the fridge went off and she scolded me saying ‘what you need is another spanking.’

I blushed and just gaped at her but nothing came of it. I was kind of disappointed I think now.

Then one day while Jane was away again I had a smoke in my room. There was no ashtray so I put the lit cigarette on the bedside table while I went to the toilet. When I came back the table had burned and the cigarette had fallen on the floor scorching the carpet.

I hid the damage with a book and forgot about it.

It was weeks later when she said “I have had just about enough with you and smoking.”

I was genuinely confused until she led me to my room and pointed at the burn marks.

While I spluttered out apologies Jane stormed off and came back with the shoe she had used before.

“Take your jeans and underwear down,” she said.

I argued and pleaded, but I only sounded like a kid so somehow I did what I was told.

This time I was over her knee properly and I got a really long hard spanking until I did cry. Well I say until, actually she didn’t stop when I started crying but bawled me out with the bollocking of my life and continued spanking me.

I ended up sobbing my heart out face down on the bed with my jeans and knickers still around my ankles where she told me to stay. She even threatened me with another spanking if I moved.

I felt totally punished and I didn’t even dare inspect the damage. But it was good to cry and I felt better after. Even though the door was open I even stayed put in that embarrassing position just to please her.

When she came back she put some cream on my bum and began to tell me off again as she did it. She told me I had to quit smoking and if she found out I had been smoking in or out of the house I would get more.

All this while Jane put cream on my bottom and it felt nice and I was close to her somehow.

I didn’t give up smoking for months. I just couldn’t manage it. But every time she smelled it on my breath of found cigarettes anywhere she spanked me.

Jane always spanked me hard over her knee and on my bare bottom. I almost always cried and later she always sent to me to my room.

After a while she would spank me for lots of things so that by the time I did give up smoking I was still under the cosh.

I don’t know how much of what went on Kate knew about, but most of the spankings happened after she moved out. Another girl whose name I forget moved in after that.

She didn’t stay long and I think it was because of the spankings I got. She must have known. I know I could never look her in the eye.

After a gap an older woman called Sarah moved in. She worked long hours so wasn’t there much, which suited me.

Then one day I was over Jane’s knee getting a spanking on my bare bottom in the kitchen when Sarah came home. As you can imagine I almost died. But all she said was “Don’t mind me.”

Sarah seemed to see or hear a lot of my spankings, which after that became longer and harder and more frequent I think. It was Sarah who suggested that Jane put me in the corner, which she took to doing gleefully and sometimes where Sarah could see.

I am sure that is what Sarah hoped she would do.

Sometimes I had to stand in the corner before a spanking to be left to think about it. Sometimes it was afterwards for a good cry, which I preferred if I had to do it, but it was embarrassing if Sarah was there. Occasionally I had to do both, which was totally horrible, but I usually deserved it.

It was a totally crazy time and I lived with Jane and Sarah for four years before moving in with my boyfriend. You can bet I never told him any of this.

I still don’t get it or why I went along with it. But I know it cleared the air and I always felt better after. I like to read about spanking now and sometimes I play at spanking, but nothing like with Jane. I miss the intensity and emotion of it, but not the horribly sore bruised bottoms.

4 Responses to “Land Lording It”

  1. D.J., Don’t you also feel better after posting this marvelous ‘true’ account? Hopefully it will be the first of many.

    • 2 DJ

      Well I hope it was good for you One Hand 😉

      Regardless of whether or not it is true – it is interesting that people feel the need to tell it – even if it comes largely from their heads. But then I suppose it could be true and that is what counts in these things.

  2. 3 markiee

    This is what my mother-in-law used to do to my wife, now at 56 she does it to me.

  3. 4 Pecan nutjob


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