spanked cornerYou know you learn something every day.  Well that actually might not be true, but that is a digression.

“Let me see if I can help you,” I say.

She sighs and puts on her second best irritated face.

“God what does that..?” I say as you lean back and try to focus on the blur in front of me, “Where’s my glasses?”

She makes a frustrated groaning sound and tries to push me aside to get at my computer.

“A mouse, who uses a mouse, you are so old fashioned,” she says in irritation.

By then of course I have found my glasses and I’m wearing them. I am pretty good these days at putting on reading specs, I can do it in less than two seconds all while chewing gum. If I were partial to the old Wrigley’s that is. But I am not.

I might have said this to her but she is puffing like an old train and dancing around me like the proverbial hot cat on a tin roof. What do you mean I have that wrong? I know exactly what I mean.

“Ooh,” she says. She sounds angry now.

“Now what is it you want to check?” I say pulling up a page I suppose she wants.

It seems slow to load.

“Let me do it,” she says impatiently.

“This is the page isn’t it?” I say.

Her hair is fire red and I could swear it is smoking now. She needs to calm down or her head will explode.

“Here it is,” I say.

“Yes,” she says with a roll of her eyes, “Click on that one.”

That’s easy and I do that.

“Click on it,” she says impatiently.

She is dancing again.

“I have,” I click it again and something happens, but I think it is from the first time I did it. “I think it is a slow web site.”

“It’s your connection,” she says impatiently.

“I have mega fast broadband,” I say indignantly.

“But maybe you have exceeded your limit,” she sighs.

“I have unlimited,” I explain.

The page loads.

“Yes but…” she has the angry face on now, “Unlimited doesn’t mean unlimited, it is just a standard term for an industry package with an agreed limit.”

“Really,” I say, “But surely that is misleading.”

“It is to do with what a reasonable person understands by the term. Obviously nothing is ever really unlimited.” She has the same tone when she talks to children.

“I am a reasonable man and I take it to mean that unlimited means that to all intents and purposes it is unlimited,” I reply.

“Can we just get on with it?” she says angrily.

“It’s this one, I clicked it; it is loading. Look,” I say patiently. “I can talk and click on links at the same time. I am multi-talented that way.”

“Ooh,” she growls.

“I think you had better moderate your tone young lady,” I say sternly.

This is usually a signal for her to calm down, but today she doesn’t.

“Your damn computer is as old as you are,” she snaps. “Why haven’t you got an Apple?”

“My computer is precisely 18 months old. It was top of the range then and it is for business not a toy,” I say sharply. “I was using Mackintosh when you were still in school. Back then they had the edge, now they are just pretty and expensive.”

“I am going to look it up on my i-pad,” she says childishly and storms off.

I sigh and open up another browser and visit Google, the BBC and my blog in short order. The connection is fine. The PC is fine. Returning to the page I see the article she wants had finally loaded. The download speed is all at its end I decide.

“I have it,” I call. It is the last of my tolerant reasonableness.

She reappears with a pout, her toy in her hand.

“I can’t get a connection in the front room,” she says accusingly.

I stand up and move aside with a flourish.

She might have said ‘thank you.’ She might have said ‘at last,’ and still got away with it. But that was definitely border line.

Instead she says angrily, “At f…ing last.”

“I see,” I say, “This is over now.”

I take her gently but firmly by the arm and pull her to her feet and she comes without resisting. She knows she has gone too far.

There is an old fashioned Victorian armless dining room chair in the corner. It accommodates us both easily; me sitting, her across my knee.

“I’m busy, I have to…” she says plaintively.

The first spank is hard and lands on the seat of her skirt.

“Ow,” she says with a pout.

I spank her twice more and then tug at the hem of her skirt.

“Oh no, please,” she squeals.

I spank her again and admire the red spillage from under her dainty little knickers.

“Ooh, this is so unfair,” she moans.

I spank her four or five more times before hooking my thumb into the elastic of her underwear. At this she offers up a loud sigh and kicks her legs prettily like a distressed maiden.

Her bare bottom is bright pink on her pale flesh and I run my hand over her skin enjoying the contrast between cool and hot.

“Is that any way to talk to me?” I say, spanking her again with a crisp resounding crack.

She doesn’t answer.

“I tried to help you and all you do is give me attitude,” I say.

The spanking starts in earnest now and I try out a dozen or two swats for size.

“You don’t talk to me like that. Do you hear me?” I scold.

“Yes,” she replied in a small voice.

“You mean you do talk to me like that?” I press her.

“No,” she says meekly.

“I should hope not,” I spank her again a few more times.

“Ooh, I’m sorry,” she lisps.

“I won’t have it.”

“I’m sorry, please Sir, I’m sorry,” she wails.

Her bottom is a vivid red now so I pause.

“Now go and stand in the corner,” I tell her.

“Can’t have a cuddle?” she says softly.

“Corner,” I bark.

She does as she is told, remembering to hold her skirt up and leave her knickers down.

I return to the computer and minimise the article and open a news page. It takes several minutes, but eventually she finds the courage to speak.

“How long must I stay here?” she asks very respectfully.

“Oh, I don’t know. An unlimited time at least, I am sure a reasonable girl knows how long that is,” I tell her.

Then turning back to the news I find an interesting article on growing demand for sea cruises in a recession. You learn something every day.


18 Responses to “Unlimited”

  1. 1 paul1510

    a short short, but very nice. 😀

  2. 3 Mindy

    Nice. Is this a real life anecdote? 😉

    • 4 DJ

      let’s say – loosely based on a couple of different episodes. 😉

  3. 5 kaki

    Cute story, DJ.

    Funny how different a story sounds depending on your perspective. This could easily be me and find nothing wrong with her behavior also ending the same. Listening to you tell the story it makes it sound all together different.

    btw, I still use a mouse and find it much easier.

    • 6 DJ

      Sometimes I feel so clumsy I need something bigger – do they do rats?

  4. 7 saucywriter

    A fine short story, DJ, with an interesting premise and for which many thanks as always. As an aside, there have been plenty of days when I didn’t learn anything new but then again, there were days on which I learned all kinds of things!

    As ever, thank you for sharing your talent with us.

  5. 9 Kia

    Very clever story. Not sure I want to know what the industry standard is for unlimited corner time. . .

    • 10 DJ

      Its never as long as you think it is and certainly not as long as totally unlimited 😉

  6. 11 Mark

    He put up with far too much before just spanking her. It did her no favor. They were both unhappy.

    When in doubt, over the lap first. Discuss from that position. Things are clearer.

    • 12 DJ

      You need to chill more – as an exercise in your head practice making up a common phrase using including the words rope enough herself hang 😉

  7. Too cute. Gave me a little chucle!

    Thank DJ,


  8. 15 Svetlana

    Love this. There’s that line you are not supposed to cross with a dominant partner, but sometimes it’s suddenly behind you and it very much feels like “oops”. I like how she instantly sees it … after it’s too late. “Unlimited” cornertime is almost poetic justice under the circumstances. On an impatient day (and she certainly has one) it’s hell to keep wondering whether you’ll be there for another 15 minutes or an hour.

    • 16 DJ

      having lines behind you is another consequence. 😉

    • 17 Svetlana

      Heee. I didn’t see that reply coming, but have to admit it was begging to be made.

  9. 18 Richard

    Thank you kind Sir Unlimited should in fact mean just that with no qualifiers But if not kept to standard they will give you mush less a measure of beer is a pint a bar up worth was selling an ounce less untill called on it Reasonable expectation my hillbilly hindend

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