A Fantasy Found


spankedThanks to Rachel for this contribution. It has been edited and posted with her permission.

Rachel wrote:

Ever since I can remember I have had spanking fantasies and as the years have gone by they have got more extreme. And so on turning 30, after a few half-hearted experiences with boyfriends, I decided to get involved with the spanking and BDSM scene.

My main fantasy was being taken by a strong man and spanked. I mean really spanked with paddles and maybe followed up with a whipping or the cane. There are always others there, mostly women who are enjoying my submission and in my fantasy I never enjoy it.

I need to be spanked or caned until I am begging and can’t take anymore and then he will whisper, “We have only just got started.”

I realised that this kind of thing probably doesn’t happen for real and even if it did, it would need a level of trust that would be hard to find. At some of the clubs I went to, I saw women spanked until bottoms were red, but it was all pretty tame. I even said so.

Then I met ‘Gloria’ a professional dominatrix and she invited me back to her flat. I didn’t go at first, I was too scared I think, being new to the scene, but after a few times and many months I finally did.

I told her my fantasies and what I thought about the ‘play scene’ and she agreed, but she also said I was very rude.

This led to a genuine scolding and finally I had got a real bare bottom spanking over her knee until I was good and sorry and really crying. I hated it, but here is the thing, I loved hating it.

But it still wasn’t what I was after, but I was too scared or polite to say.

As months went by I saw a couple of session with her (and had a few more spankings) and all the ones with girls were pretty tame.

Then I saw one of her sessions with a man. It was his thing to have another woman watching apparently and I was curious.

It was not really my thing but I did notice that it was a very intense and heavy scene far beyond any I had yet seen. I asked why it was that the male sessions were harder than the female ones.

I was told that was what they asked for.

Finally I got up the courage to point out to Gloria that I had asked for it to, but she had been so tough with me.

“Are you saying I don’t spank you hard enough?” She was offended I think.

It was hard to explain but finally she suggested that we do a really heavy scene, but that I would have to think about it for a couple of weeks first. I can’t tell you how excited I was.

Finally the day came and I went around to her flat.

The first thing she did was spank me harder than I have ever been spanked before. I couldn’t stop crying and by the end I kept saying I was sorry for, well just about everything.

Then she put me in the corner in handcuffs and pretty much left me there.

Later on she had me bend over this padded bench thing with my bum sticking up. I had had the cane before, but not like this. It felt like cuts and after about four or five I was yelling and crying for real.

Not only didn’t she stop, but she made me ask and beg for more. On and on it went until I said I would do anything.

I am not a lesbian, but you can imagine what ‘anything’ consisted of. Well you probably can’t, it was pretty full on and she explored some fairly extreme BDSM stuff with me as well as the obvious. She really loved it, having a submissive hetro girl and she really made the most of it. I really got off on the submission of it, I can’t explain. Not properly.

I stayed the night with her and on Sunday afternoon before I left, she gave me another spanking with a strap thing that really hurt and left me unable to sit easily. The marks lasted ages.

The next time I saw her she asked if that was what I wanted and I said it was.

After that I got more of the same about once a month and she introduced me to a couple of guys, which was more my thing. I even got a serious birching from a man I had to call uncle. I swear it felt like my bum had been sandblasted during and afterwards, and I think I cried for about an hour. I felt so clean. Like my soul had been purged.

This was five years ago and I have my own man now. It is harder to make me cry these days, but about once a month he manages it.

Thanks for your blog and for letting me tell my story.


Thank you Rachel.

6 Responses to “A Fantasy Found”

  1. 1 cindy


    You mentioned that the punishment with the strap made sitting difficult and gave you marks on your bottom that lasted for ages. I have on a few occasions received strappings that left black and blue marks and have savored those marks. I can’t tell you how many times a day I would go into the bathroom, lower my panties and look backward in the mirror at the bruises. Usually over the course of a week, the bruises would fade to yellow and finally disappear, and strangely enough I went into a funk when they finally disappeared.

    I had and have someone to punish me but most punishments are not as severe as the punishments I just described (but some are). And even though my needs are currently fulfilled, the fear is always present that at some point in the future, the needs will go unmet.

    You said that you were bent over a padded bench with your bum sticking out and the pain of the caning was so bad that you agreed to anything., “I am not a lesbian, but you can imagine what ‘anything’ consisted of.” I can not be certain what you are alluding to, but I at least have an idea.

    You later said how a punishment can make it seem as if your soul has been purged. Rachel, I can identify with that cleansing effect.

    Thank you so much for sharing. I loved reading what you had to say.


  2. 2 paul1510

    Rachel, I appreciate your honesty, I’m happy that you have someone to meet your needs, I doubt very much that I could do so.. 🙂

  3. 3 natashaknight

    Hi Rachel, I love the honesty in this piece, especially the part about feeling clean. Thanks for sharing and all the best to you.

  4. 4 gemini

    Thank you. I enjoyed this post and can identify with some of your fantasies..

  5. 5 Raffe

    Thank you Rachel for sharing you story.

  6. 6 PDBB

    Fantasy – The *Ah, If Only*… Mine tends towards the semi or non consensual of an age where the recipient’s first resort is to cry, “I’m too big to be spanked”, “None of my friends still get spanked” ad infinitum. Being *forced* to accept the discipline foisted upon her by virtue of “You really don’t have much of a choice in the matter Young Lady” that ends the *debate*!
    An example of this is: Kimberly’s Story. Kimberly, just twenty one, has been excepted into a Mid-Western graduate school. She had attended college locally where her mother has kept an eye on her and kept her focused. An adolescent, immature trait or an affinity that she felt her daughter has yet to develop and grow out of, made her easily led astray if not monitored and checked.
    So her mother did her homework to find a safe, disciplined environment for her daughter. Given a recommended and approved list of names of people that opened up there homes to students there was one that stood out. Mrs. Joanna Stepp. The woman, it turned out was a retired principal and when she asked the school if they knew anything about this Mrs. Stepp, a very helpful secretary, she was talking to, hesitantly offered, she seems to take in the*more difficult cases*. And when pressed for details, said, Mrs. Stepp has a reputation for being quite the disciplinarian. I remember one undergraduate, who was called to this office for some infraction of the school rules that was placed in care of Mrs. S and had a note placed in her file that stipulated; Mrs. S had to be notified if this student was to face any disciplinary sanctions. Well, you should have seen this nineteen or twenty year old carry on. You would have thought she was a grade school girl who was informed her mother and father was going to be called. Please, she begged. I promise it won’t happen again; Don’t call Mrs. Stepp, I’ll be good, I promise and she actually started crying! Well, I had no choice. I had to do what her file said.
    I called Mrs. Stepp and she told me to have her [the girl] wait for her in the office. I told the tearful student to have a seat as Mrs. Stepp was coming to pick her up. She let out a sorrowful moan, sat down like she was told and began quietly crying all over again. I met this Mrs. Stepp that afternoon. She is formidable looking woman. Tall, determined looking, much like the stereotypical principal she once was. What I remember was, she had a shopping bag with her and went directly to the cringing girl after announcing to the desk, who she was. She grabbed the girl and literally lifted her out of the chair by the upper arm and turned to us asking, If We would mind her using one of the unoccupied offices? We were a little non plussed and pointed to one of the councilors offices and nodded, not at all . She escorted the reluctant student in there, whose legs didn’t seem work and feet barely touched the ground and shut the door. A few minutes, in an absolutely quiet outer office , the pair emerged. A stern woman and the crying college student who was now dressed in a short skirted, school girl’s uniform – complete, instead of her jeans, polo shirt and pumps! She was obviously mortified and very subdued as her mentor *asked* for her hand!
    She approached the counter/front desk with the girl and thanked us for calling her. I warned her if she wanted to fool around and behave like a errant school girl, I would show her how school girls are handled! She obviously didn’t take my words seriously! The girl tried to speak but was hushed and warned that if she didn’t keep quiet, she wouldn’t wait until they got home!
    One can only guess what transpired once she got her home but I for one would be so well behaved if I had to answer to this woman, the secretary assured Kimberly’s mom. I hope that helps with your decision.
    It certainly did. Kimberly and her mother had an appointment with Joanna Stepp that very week.
    Kimberly’s mom was impressed with what Mrs.Stepp had to say about being vigilant and strict in this age of permissiveness and added what is missing in today’s society is consequences. I believe, Mrs S went on, that once a young person knows and is shown the unpleasant results poor choices and what outright disobedience can bring, they tend to give more thought to committing offences or breaching the rules.
    Kimberly bristled at being *vicariously* lectured to and interrupted Mrs. Stepps discourse. She was rebuked for her rudeness by her mother and her mother apologized for her to Joanna for her *uncalled for* behavior. This did not sit well with the embarrassed young adult and she continued voicing, that if she [Mrs. Stepp] had something to say, she could talk directly to her, she wasn’t a child, she reiterated. All evidence to contrary young lady, was Mrs.S sharp reply and turned to her mother for a nod of permission! It was given with an interest in how the formidable lady would handle her immature daughter. That came with a sharp, stand up young lady!
    A surprised hesitation and Kimberly’s troubled, Why(?), was answered with swift action on the tall woman’s part. The girl was snatched by a twisting grip to her ear and marched to a corner. With her hand still gripping the ear of the pain expressing young lady, she was ordered to remain *Quiet*, with her nose in the corner! If you move one inch out of that corner or we hear a sound from you, the next thing you will feel will be my hairbrush and your mother will see you across my knee with your pants down, getting the biggest spanking you had in a long, long time!
    MOTHER?! Are you going to let her do this?! The *former* young adult had the seat of her tight tailored pants smacked hard with at least five sharp spanks. It brought immediate tears but when the order to face the wall was repeated, she tearfully obeyed.
    The matron – mother conversation continued, directed once again to *consequences*, young people and establishing limits as Kimberly remained in place, controlling her urge to revolt. The *sting* of Joanna Stepps hand was resonating in her seat, she had no desire to find out what her hairbrush felt like and on a backside with even less protection!
    Her mother said (mostly for Kimberly’s edification), she heard that she [Joanna] had other methods of correcting and punishing a girl who refuses to listen. I heard you make them dress like little girls and… Oh yes, regression we call it. If a young woman refuses to act her age, I will treat her accordingly. You would be surprised to find out how being put into *little girl* pajamas, spanked, sent to bed early [even on weekends] and as you can see, being put in the corner, gives them second and third thoughts of misbehaving.
    Oooh, she could just kill her mother for *discovering* a Joanna Stepp a clenched jawed graduate student screamed – on the inside!

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