And Then, Dear Reader, he spanked me


Mr Darcy spanks by Dr MabuseNo doubt many readers of Pride and Prejudice have fantasised that Mr Darcy would have once just taken its heroine over his knee. And we can be fairly sure that even back in 1813 when the book was first published, this was so and that canny publishers were well aware of such subtexts. If not, then a generation later, Charlotte Bronte was far bolder in her book Jane Eyre and for many women, reading this novel was about as close to the then unnamed BDSM-related passions as they got.

Indeed, many have argued the Charlotte Bronte herself fantasised about Jane Eyre being spanked by Mr Rochester and the whole novel is a thinly disguised exploration of a far darker relationship. There are even a couple of re-imaginings of the book that features a rather copious helping of spankings. The best known of these was probably An English Education by P N Dedeaux, an excerpt of which was previously published on this blog. However, the trouble with these versions is that they sacrificed the romance for the sex and the spanking and thereby missing the point.

Romantic spankings are as old as humanity and if recent ‘literary’ fashion is anything to go by, there is no sign that humanity in general and women in particular are ready to move on. If the recent success of 50 Shades tells us anything, then it is that spanking sells. Of course like Nine and a Half Weeks before it and Jane Eyre, it is all the more palatable to society if the books are written by women, as these books were. Even sexually liberated authors have struggled with male-led spanking fantasy.

Back in 1973 Nancy Friday was quite open about it being okay for women to want to be spanked. In her book My Secret Garden she explores this as a triumph of liberation. As she reports (and here we paraphrase) it was summed up when one woman wrote, “Sometimes I wish he would stop putting up with all the crap I give him and just wallop my backside.”

Oh what fun, Nancy winks at the girls and why not, women will always be comfortable with such things amongst themselves. Except that Ms Friday was writing in an experimental age. In her 1980 book, Men in Love, already she could not bring herself to celebrate male sexual fantasies where they pertained to spanking. Such things had to be linked to brutality and dysfunction.

This is perhaps sometimes understandable of course. Usaully men cannot be so liberated even in literature without eyebrows being raised. For obvious reasons, it is far too close to what is for some the brutal reality. It has a tendency to spoil the party.

For women too there are challenges. If women romantics out-themselves too much and too often, they perhaps fear that they will give a license to the patriarchy some have so long tried to break with. It is one thing to seek the forbidden, but quite another to be offered it.

So there you have it. For women it is often the lust that dare not speak its name as it dances in and out the shadows through the history of literature; only occasionally breaking cover in the shape of a 50 Shades before giving way to more coded texts.

So if you think you have arrived in a new era of openness and toleration, think again. It might be that you are just living in a rare tolerant moment. Or just maybe, the 21st century Jane Eyre will end with the modern equivalent of ‘and so dear reader he spanked me.’

21 Responses to “And Then, Dear Reader, he spanked me”

  1. Very astute and topical article, DJ. I have an article on my blog about this very subject which I’d merely refer readers to without pasting a lot of it here. I posted an article about “Spanking Romance Novels” on Sept 28. The other thing I’d point about about Dedeaux’s treatment is that he is so extremely harsh that readers hoping for romance might be turned off.

  2. 5 Old Tom

    What an interesting article and I agree with the doubt that we are living in a liberated age. We only believe that we are but the controls exist everywhere. However, I wish to assure any woman (over the age of 18 of course) that if she approaches me wanting to be spanked I shall happily oblige.

  3. 7 Keribrat

    Hi DJ and Tom,
    If only I wasn’t way over here in the US.
    If I ever get to England I will look you wonderful men up!
    I have been ‘lurking’ about on this blog, like a naughty little girl, for quite a while. I’ve went back in time and read every page.
    I enjoy this site the most of any I’ve found and this is the first time I’ve posted, anywhere.
    I love that it’s from a male perspective, that’s what attracts me the most, I think!

    • 8 Old Tom

      Oh do post more…..I am sure all will welcome you.

    • 9 DJ

      Well welcome Keribrat

      its nice that the male perspective is not totally out of fashion.

      btw I know of Robin’s work – feel free to post a link here, 🙂

      • 10 Keribrat

        Thanks to old Tom for the welcome!

        DJ –
        Although I am happily married and oft spanked I have to admit I have a HUGE crush on you. Seeing that you replied personally had my heart fluttering! Before I found your site I was convinced that only us girls wanted spanking stories. They seem to be all written by women. I figured strong males just obliged us with spankings because it was something they knew we enjoyed but that it really didn’t do much for them. Then I found this blog. You write about the psychological as well as physical and let’s face it, for most girls the head stuff is just as powerful as the bottom stuff.
        So thanks for the warm welcome. It’s a beautiful day here in Seattle, WA yet I dreaming of England… hehe
        If an appropriate time presents itself (i.e. discussion about school paddling, etc.) I’ll share my story. For now just feeling warm and fuzzy from the nice welcoming!

        • 11 DJ

          Hi Keri,

          Aw shucks. 😉

          My best wishes to Seattle (somewhere I have always wanted to go).

          I look forward to your future contributions. 😉

  4. 12 Scarlet

    Excellent, excellent post, DJ!

  5. 13 ALSq

    Perhaps you could do a search for Robin Whittle, or go to his website,, where he explores a similar theme.
    But be prepared to spend time searching for precisely this point. He covers a vast spanking spectrum.

  6. 15 Timory

    Hi, DJ, I’m delurking here because I wanted to read your review of “an english education,” but I couldn’t find it under “reviews.” Can you direct me to it?

    Thanks & love the blog, especially the “these lands beyond series.”

  7. 17 Richard

    When i think of all the short stories i have written sense purest times and now this auther is wealthy it makes wonder But true the fashion can easily swing back to where we are brutes for even thinking of that evil of smacking a female bottom Even if some seem to beg for a rough touch now and again Thanks for your blog a chance to express my thouspt

  8. 18 Richard

    When i think of all the short stories i have written sense purest times and now this writer is wealthy it makes wonder But true the fashion can easily swing back to where we are brutes for even thinking of that evil of smacking a female bottom Even if some seem to beg for a rough touch now and again Thanks for your blog a chance to express my thought

  9. 19 Richard

    Classic spank in the classics who would have thought that basic instinct would sell books wonder was anyone ever sent to fetch a birch or at least a nice limber rod not spared on a delicious bum richly deserving its repeated application

  1. 1 Male Spanking Fantasies – ourbottomsburn

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