A Letter from a spanking enthusiast

24May11

This is an excerpt from a very nice email received after the 1.5 million visits post. A young woman, who calls herself Tracy, wanted to say how much she liked this blog and how reading it and following some of the links to our friends like Sometimes A Girl, made her feel she was not alone.

Here is her story, published with permission and heavily edited for various reasons, also with her permission.

I was one of those that was always into spanking. I used to obsess about for as long as I could remember. I used to spend hours at the library pouring over books with suggestive titles or by authors who had previously delivered spankings within their pages.

I used to read Rosemary Rogers and Simon Green when I could get them.

I had better explain that I was the only child of a single mother and am now 42. I have spent my life trying to get off with boys and men who showed any interest in my bottom in the hopes of finding a spanker. I have been lucky now and then but it has only been in the last few years that I have found a relationship where I get what I want.

The story I thought I would like to share as long as you don’t include any identifiable information, is of my early experience with punishment and spanking.

As I said, I had no father and my mother is only 15 years older than me, so growing up we were more like sisters than mother and daughter. Then when I was 15 mum met this guy and he moved in.

Now up until then I had been used to getting my own way. Even to the extent of staying out all night and not phoning home, that kind of thing. It used to drive mum crazy. Nick put a stop to that.

Now here is the funny thing. I really loved it that I suddenly had rules and boundaries. But I couldn’t admit it or be grateful. I had to be a real bitch about it. I think part of me was testing the waters because of my secret fantasies.

I got grounded for the first time ever. I stayed in my room when this happened and masturbated, pretending that I was waiting to be whipped or something. Then I after a few things happened we had a family conference.

I was 16 by then and had made a mess at school.

Nick said that maybe we should try corporal punishment. Mum was upset and I couldn’t believe it and was really embarrassed. So Nick dropped it.

But I kept thinking about it as you can imagine and after I messed up again we all had another chat. After talking with mum a lot it was decided that if messed up again we should try the corporal punishment thing.

I was absolutely sh*ting it (her asterisk). Even the threat of it was enough to keep me straight. But that did not stop me thinking about it and having fantasies.

I forget now when exactly, it was a long time after our chat, maybe a year. I had started using dope and smoking. One day I was hiding in a store room at school when I set fire to some boxes of sports gear. I wasn’t caught and the fire got put out but I told mum. I don’t know why. I was sacred what I might do next I think.

We had a blazing row and then Nick started with the calmer stricter talking to.

“I think I should spank you,” he said right out of the blue.

I argued about it, I was sooo embarrassed and got squigy feelings at the same time. Then he goes, “you’re too old spank if you don’t agree so let’s drop it, but we have to do something.”

I thought about it for days after that. I think I was disappointed that he didn’t do it.

“Alright I guess I already agreed sort of and I suppose I deserve it,” I told them. It was really weird and about a zillion things were going through my head. Just saying that out loud when there could be consequences was a real turn on.

I don’t know why, but I just assumed that he would spank my bare bum. That really got me going, just the idea of it. But he didn’t.

I had to get into my pyjamas and come back down. I was shaking like a leaf and there was a wet patch between my legs. I was so worried that mum and Nick would see. But it all happened really quickly and I don’t think they noticed. I went over his lap and he slapped me hard lots of times with his hand. It really hurt. I didn’t cry, but I nearly did.

Every time I have been spanked since the guy has had a hard-on, but not Nick. I really don’t think he got off on it.

When I went back to my room I pulled my pyjamas down to look at my bum. It was so red. I just lay face down on my bed with my bum bare and relived it, several times, if you know what I mean.

It hurt enough for me to be scared of getting it again, so in that regard it worked. That didn’t stop me getting three more spankings, the last one in my first year at college when I was 19.

For the last two he used a tennis shoe on my knickers and I did cry both times. The bruises lasted days.

That was it. I wasn’t spanked again until my last year of college and that was a wishy-washy affair, but at least it was on the bare. He was a short-lived boyfriend.

So you see big girls are still spanked or they were 25 years ago.

If you publish this, I hope I don’t get flamed. I have never told anyone about this before. My only regret is that I didn’t get it on the bare bum all those years ago.

So thanks again for your blog and for listening.

And thank you Tracy for sharing.

A step-father story was published here a few weeks back and another is planned for later this week, so this is quite topical.



10 Responses to “A Letter from a spanking enthusiast”

  1. 1 paul little

    NICE u obvisiouly needed disipline I would not have hesited to give u a bare bottom spanking with the hairbrush!!!

  2. 2 Karl Friedrich Gauss

    That’s a dandy letter, D. J.. And a fitting marker for the 1.5 million view milestone.

    How nice of you Tracy to write up all that just so we could share in your experience and see inside your head, as it were. I really don’t think one could credibly make this stuff up.

    Tracy, I suspect your step-dad made a point of keeping your pants up to try to make the experience as non-sexual as he could manage. I’m sure he did his best, to make it purely for your own good.

    Your account paints a fascinating picture of the complex web of motivations at work in your mind and your feelings. You needed to be “held”, and “held accountable” and it was also on some level sexual for you, and yet it seems that wasn’t the main point of your need to be disciplined. As they say on Facebook, “it”s complicated”.

  3. 3 fatherjim

    It is refreshing to see someone come out and admit not only their interests but their experiences with corporal punishment. Thanks so much for your honest thoughts and generosity in letting us see aglimpse of your past!

    Well done!

    Jim

  4. 4 Ross

    Good real life account wish i had a partner like you

  5. 5 Paddy P

    Funny really but I am also an only child of a young mother.
    I also went through a stange of wanting/needing someone to take controll as I was going off the rails a bit in my teens.
    As it happened it was my Granny who took control after I had been called to court for steeling while Mammy got in trouble over her credit card ballance getting out of control.
    So when I came home with a caution I was met by my Granny giving out to my mother over her credit card and when she heard where I was she got really mad told Mammy “Well if you can’t handle him I can” and for the first time in my 16 year old life my behind well an trully spanked.
    To my amazement she then turned to mother and did the same to her telling me to face the wall as she pulled up her skirt.
    That was a few years ago and I must admit I had to suffer the humiliation and embarasment again though Mammy learnt her lesson.
    So now as a 22 year old I have great respect for my granny and know well that if I don’t behave it may not be my last visit over her knees

  6. 6 xLouB

    I just caught this.

    I’m 21 and at college. Not to bore you I had the same thing from 16. Only I got a step mother – so I get it on my bare bottom. I cry and really can’t sit afterwards. Nowdays I cry in my room but for the first couple of years I had corner time. That really worked. Dad always went out, but at different times – some neigbours and a mate of Mo’s, my aunt, and cousins (girls) have seen me this way, usually bare bummed – but not always.

    Twice spanked in the front room with Teri (Mo’s mate) watching when I was 18. Mo is stepmum. I can’t tell you how I felt – I died.

    I am saying this because this now and not 25-years-ago. And also I also have and had fantasies about spanking and stuff. But I absolute just feel punished and really really hate getting spanked by Mo. Especially as I have friends who know because Mo makes sure they do when I’m grounded. Or when I was. last time two years ago in first year.

    It works and its not fun. I was a real brat from 16-18 like you wouldn’t believe. I think she overdoes it now though – well its not so often but I never answer her back or give her attitude. When she first married Dad I told her to spin on it – just because she suggested I clean my room. I really can’t believe it now.

    Otherwise now we have a normal grown up relationship and I do the fanatsy stuff seperately.

    I love this blog btw – thanks. Blushing now, Going away.

    Louise

    • 7 Tamzin

      That’s really embarassing Louise,

      the worst thing that happened to me was being dragged out of MacDonald’s at 16 (where i was not allowed to go) and told i would be spanked when mum got me home. i was wiv friends so god was my face red.

      yep in case yer wondering – i was spanked on the bare bottom.

      I got my last spanking at 19 (4 years ago) it could happen again – i stil get the look from mum – but so far it hasn’t happened.

      also loving the blog – were all spankos spanked in their teens – yay

  7. 8 ConfessionGirl

    Mum’s from Trinidad and she used to get it with her sisters stripped down with a switch in the yard. So I bet that tops embarassing spankings.

    For me it was the time I was caught playing spanking games by mum in our garden shed with two girlfriends.

    Mum went nuts and called us dirty girls. My white friend was sent home but my other friend was staying with us while her mum and dad were on holiday. Man we got it good on our bare booties right there in that shed with a length cut from a tree in the back garden.

    Then when I was 20 I moved out and got a flat to be nearer college. Mum said OK and even gave me some money, but she said no drinking, smoking or boys in the room.

    Guess who came to visit just as I was yelling ‘F***ing A’ with a beer can in one hand, a smoke in the other and two boys lounging on my bed? Oh yeah – mum and dad.

    Poor guys didn’t know what the deal was when dad went for them and they had to light outta there. Dad made me pack a bag and I spent the next two weeks grounded at home. Oh and yeah I was taken upstairs for a long long time with Mum, a switch and my naked behind. My backside was every colour afterwards and I oculdn’t get my jeans back on. I mean OUCH. Least there was no one else there.

    I still get that look too – and I’m 33 now. I bet it could happen. Lol.

    Alicia

  8. 9 doublecee

    What a shame there aren’t more up-to-date accounts. I’m sure there has been plenty happening in the last 5 years or so.
    This blog goes from strength to strength.

    • 10 DJ

      I have no idea when these things happened for sure – I am sure most of these are historic. But if you mean shame there haven’t been more snippets like this since then – well there are – not sure where – but several on this blog – follow real life tag for them all 🙂


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