A Right Royal Spanking


Some might think that’s what the (British) nation is getting today, but not so fast. Spanking and royalty have a long tradition within marriage and maybe a certain airline pilot’s daughter and future queen is not so adverse. After all it has been widely reported that as a student (pre-prince) she was given to mooning the guys from her window. After all if you don’t want to consummate the marriage of hand and bottom why send out an invitation?

Let us just assume she is getting into the spirit of the thing and as we know it was the first King William of England who began the noble tradition of wife spanking. William the Bastard, later more politely referred to as The Conqueror, was widely believed to have spanked his wife. In fact she did not agree to the marriage until he had provided her with ample proof of his spanking prowess.

Matilda of Flanders objected to being married off to an illegitimate husband and sought to defy her father, Baldwin V Count of Flanders, who had arranged the political nuptials. When William heard he was not good enough for her, he got on his horse and rode hard to her castle and stormed it. Where confronting the wilful brat (how dare she not know her medieval place) she again berated him as a basted.

Now it must be remembered that to call someone a bastard, even if it was true, was just about the worst insult to the early medieval mind. It must also be remembered that the ruthless and ill-tempered William was almost singlehandedly responsible for conflating the old word dastard with the modern meaning of bastard, being both a dastard and a bastard. Therefore it was hardly likely that he was going to suggest counselling or to otherwise take it in good part.

“If you were a man I would kill you and all your kin with you,” he is sometimes held to have said, whereupon she again calls him a bastard.

What was he waiting for, a written invitation? Well apparently not for he is then said to have seized her front of her maids and assembled gentlefolk and turned her over his knee. Then upon her bared bottom her either spanked her with the flat of his hand or laid into her with his riding quirt (by some accounts) until she ‘howled’ and ‘appeared somewhat repentant.’

“Very well madam I will not have you as my bride,” he said or some such and made to leave.

Whereupon she is said to have thrown herself to her knees to apologise and begged him to reconsider.

This is not the action of a woman moved by piety to reject him; this is a woman who likes an edge to her man and that edge to be felt in her bottom on occasion.

So come on William you have a lot to live up to and good luck to both of you because you are really going to need it.

One Response to “A Right Royal Spanking”

  1. 1 Giorgio

    Many things change in this world.
    But the need for each woman of a serious man (mr. Husband, not a boyfriend)reday to spank her naughty bottom imho is something that is never going to change!


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